Constipated People Don't Give A crap.

If You Drink, Don't Park. Accidents Cause People.

If At First You Don't Succeed,
Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling!

Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.

It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My butt.

I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

Illiterate? Write For Help

Honk If Anything Falls Off

Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes

He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...
[Seen upside down on a jeep]

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph...
Are Also Timed for 70 mph.

Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

Boldly Going Nowhere

Cat: The Other White Meat

Caution - Driver Legally Blonde

Heart Attacks ...
God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.

How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down...
Before He Admits He is lost?

Money Isn't Everything, But Poverty Sucks!

Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.

I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?