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REAL WOMEN vs. MARTHA STEWART ------------------------------- Martha Stewart: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. Real Women: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway. Martha Stewart: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. Real Women: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year. Martha Stewart: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. Real Women: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you. Martha Stewart: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up." Real Women: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too darn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes. Martha Stewart: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. Real Women: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I just don't do it. Martha Stewart: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. Real Women: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares? Martha Stewart: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy. Real Women: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it. And finally the most important tip... Martha Stewart: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. Real Women: Leftover wine?????? |