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Q: Why do men fart more than women? A: Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure. Q: What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt? A: A pussy is warm and moist. A cunt is what owns it. Q: Why did cave men drag their women around by the hair? A: Because if you drag them around by the feet they fill up with dirt. Q: What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick? A: You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck. Q: How is a woman like a laxative? A: They both irritate the shit out of you. Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A: A woman that won't do what she's told. Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman. Q: What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down? A: Marriage. Q: Why is a blow job like lobster thermidor? A: They're both very nice but you don't get either of them at home Q: What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for? A: It's braille for "suck here". Q: Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Q: Because most men are stupid, but few are blind. Q: Why do men die before their wives? A: They want to. Q: What s the difference between a woman with PMS and a rottweiler? A: Lipstick. Q: How many men does it take to fix the vacuum cleaner? A: Why the fuck should we fix it, we don't use the damn thing! Q: Why are women like screen doors? A: Once they get banged a few times, they loosen up. Q: What's a wife? A: An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done. Q: How are women like parking spaces? A: The best ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped. Q: Why do women have tits? A: So men will talk to them. Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex? A: They can't stand to see a man having a good time. Q: What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A: Money. Q: Why do women have periods? A: Because they deserve them. Q: Why did God make man first? A: He didn't want to have a woman looking over his shoulder. Q: What do you call that useless piece of skin around a pussy? A: A woman. Q: Why does it take five women with PMS to change a light bulb? A: IT JUST DOES!! Q: Why did the woman cross the road? A: Who cares? What was the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place? Q: How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb? A1: None. Let the bitch do the dishes in the dark. A2: None. Let the bitch do it after she finishes the dishes. Q: What's love? A: The delusion that one woman is different from another. Q: Why are cyclones and tornadoes usually named after women? A1: Because when they come they make a hell of a noise and when they go they take half your house with them. A2: Because what starts off as a small blow ends up taking half your house. Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After five years your job will still suck. Q: Why did God create lesbians? A: So feminists couldn't breed. Q: Why can't you trust women? A: How can you trust something that can bleed for five days and not die? Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A: They don't have balls. Q: What's the definition of a woman? A: A life support system for a pussy. Q: Did you hear about the new all-female delivery service called UPMS? A: They deliver whenever the fuck they feel like it. Q: Why do women wear make-up and perfume? A: Because they're ugly and they smell |