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THIS IS WHY "SPORTS SCHOLARSHIP" IS AN OXYMORON . . . "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle" - Bill Peterson, a Florida State footballl coach "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes." - Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wwing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker "You guys line up alphabetically by height" - Bill Peterson, a Florida State footballl coach "I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school." -Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was iineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements "I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class" - George Raveling, Washington State baskketball coach "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton." -Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to." -Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visiited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece "The ballparks have gotten too crowded. That's why nobody goes to see the game anymore." -Yogi Berra "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." -Senior basketball player at the Universsity of Pittsburgh "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann |