The Washington Post Style Invitation postulated that English should have male and female nouns.
Readers were asked to assign a gender to a noun of their choice and explain their reason.
THE BEST SUBMISSIONS
ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always
see right through them.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears useful for a
wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS - female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
SHOE - male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging
COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up.
Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons
are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
TIRE - male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere you have
to light a fire under it ... and, of course, there's the hot air part.
SPONGES - female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGE - female, because it is always getting hit on.
SUBWAY - male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HOURGLASS - female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMER - male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years,
but it's handy to have around.
REMOTE CONTROL - female... Ha! You thought I'd say male. But
consider, it gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he
doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.